Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
