I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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