We named our party play list daddy issues
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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