i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
