Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize