her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize