He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i will never coherently bang her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
two words: eviction party
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
