the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
