my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
