Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
