nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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