JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
