I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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