She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize