are you still at the devil's house?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
