The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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