Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
