Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I party with great urgency now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
