You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
