i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
