Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
