some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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