Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
