I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you win again, gameday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
