Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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