Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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