i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
