Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
