Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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