I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
