Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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