remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
