Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
