Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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