If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
