the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
