i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
