Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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