my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize