So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
