His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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