They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
