You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Use "feeling words"
Yay
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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