So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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