Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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