Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
