You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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