She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
