remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
