i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
