i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
