i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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