hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The Olympian is in my bed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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