I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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