This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
