i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
